Adieu?

Elation? The deep desire to jump with joy and pat the next sad person on his back and say "Cheer up mate, life's amazing"?

Maybe that. Yes. Emotions running through my head when I walked out of the COEP auditorium with a VJTI production engineering seat under my belt. Well, in my file, literally speaking. The distant dream was a rampant reality. I was in a good college, a good branch, and most importantly, living on hostel. Living where superfluous restrictions are non-existent. Where adenalin can run free and control me. Where I don't have "irritating elders" telling me to sleep on time, telling me to change into better clother, telling me to lower down the volume of the speakers.

Oh but wait, I did have to come home after that. I was jumping around the place. Jack (yes, the one in the box) would've been proud. I told almost everyone i knew and cared about, congratulatory calls came, everything happened, and then it was that time when I had to break the news to the most important person - myself. Some call it "sinking in". I call it convincing myself.

This was not what I had expected. I'd expected me to be understanding, all waiting to leave this place, spread my wings and fly away! But what was THAT emotion doing here? A desire to explain, a deep, enchanting feeling of belonging? Of protection? Who would've imagined the self-convincing would've been so hard? Well i won't say hard. It was the kind of feeling you get when someone tells you that a loved one has met with an accident, but he's gonna be allright. Happiness or sadness?

As if on cue, Bittersweet Symphony crooned on. I think my computer has a mind of it's own. I'm gonna miss it, among other things.